For those who know me, you know I have an incredible fear of bugs (and a huge fear of bees). This evening, after having a very pleasant night seeing Derek, Melinda, Zoe, Alex and Mica... I returned home thinking of my bed, and perhaps a glass of cold ice tea. As I approached my front door, I looked down at my keys to figure out which one was for the door, it was when I lifted my head to realize that there was a giant praying mantis sitting on my door bell. I did what anyone would do in that position... I yelled and jumped over the railing into a bush. Confused, I examined the obsticle that was keeping from my home. He starred right into my eyes, and gyrated a bit. I could tell that he meant business. I needed a game plan, some kind of tactic that could distract him or knock him off the doorbell. I paced around a bit and called Nikki. She and I both agreed that I had to throw something at him. I got off the phone, and began hurling random objects from my book bag and around the stairs. Apparently, I can't throw wood chips at bugs very well. After about 10 minutes of this, I realized it wasn't gonna happen. I a waited a bit till my enemy wasn't looking and I vaulted onto my porch to see if the porch door was unlocked... which it wasn't. Called Nikki again and paced around my porch for a bit. She says, "You can't stay outside all night." I replied, "Yes I can, its a nice night."
Now, on the porch I had the arial advantage against this monster. There is an ash tray on the table, where I found cigar butts. I tossed them down at the bug and hit him once. He proceeded to gyrate a lot, then he began to move! I sighed with relief and sat down watching him move across the door frame, onto the door handle. Out of cigars, papers, wood chips, change, and pencils... I found myself discouraged and beaten. I actually debated on going to a diner for a few hours till the mantis moved. Then I thought... this is my house, and I'm gonna go to bed in my bed! I call Nikki again, and she suggests I throw my book bag at it... I explained that clearly, if I did that, that hed climb into it and attack me while I was sleeping in my room. So that idea was out. What we came up with was for me to detach one side of the shoulder strap and to swing my bag into the praying mantis. It's gutsy, but I was determined to get into my home. We dismissed the first concern that he'd grasp onto the bag and crawl up it to attack my face by dropping the bag in that event. So, with a sigh of tension, I swung my bag gently into the monstrosity. It was here that I discovered that this creature of the damned could fly.
Another yelp and I dove onto the floor of the deck. I sat there for a bit, and realized I have to try again. I got up, looked my foe in the eye and thought, "I'm sorry, but you're going down, biotch!" I swung again at the beast and I knocked him onto the side of the house. This was my one and only chance for victory. I refilled my bag of its contents, vaulted back over the railing and jumped in front of my front door. Luckily, I had the right key in hand, I opened the door and looked at my opponent who had lost this bout, I apologized and explained it was not personal, I'm just terrified of him. The fight was over, I was safe... my home is safe.
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This is definitely one of the most frightening bug moments.
How I'm Feelin': 
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Current Tunes: VNV Nation - darkangel (gabriel)
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tired
aggravated
depressed